Insurance Not Needed

So, basically since Roman was born (maybe around 5 weeks or so) I've been adament about having a freezer stash of breastmilk "just in case". This did come in handy when I was back at work, Ryan would rotate through the old while I pumped and froze the new. Then when I quit and started staying home, it just wasn't needed.

Some of that milk now is probably either near, or already bad. I've tried using some to give to Roman in his sippy, but he gulps down anything (water or breastmilk) in his sippy, and I don't want to replace a feeding with it. I.can't.throw.it.away. I just can't.

I was talking to a good friend about my little dilemma and she said something that stuck with me.
"That freezer stash was your insurance policy in case something bad happened, you got sick, etc. You didn't have to use it. That's a good thing, and if you have made it to the point where its been frozen long enough that it's now bad, well, it's done it's job."

Agreed. Now keep in mind, I still can't bring myself to throw it away yet. But I don't feel bad anymore about it sitting in the freezer.

Co-Sleeping

When I first had Roman, we by definition co-slept with him. He slept in his bassinet portion of the PNP shoved next to my side of the bed, for easy midnight feedings. He actually was a pretty great sleeper and didn't wake that often to nurse. Then when I started working again, and he began the battle with the bottle, his night wakings increased... by a lot. Roman had begun to reverse cycle, meaning since he was refusing feedings while I was away he made up for them at night.

So I brought him in bed with me and would nurse side-lying and we both slept wonderfully! I felt like I needed that re-connection with him after being away from him while at work. Eventually he started taking bottles better and stopped reverse cycling, but he stayed in our family bed.

It's the sweetest thing in the world to open my eyes and look over and see his tiny face fast asleep, with his sweet baby breath breathing on me. Ahhhh Love..

Roman spent 9 months growing in my belly, the thought of him spending all that time feeling warmth and love and then making him sleep alone in another room... I couldn't do it. Eventually he'll sleep in his own room and crib/bed at night, but it will be on his terms and we'll make the transition as easy as possible. Babies have been sleeping with their mamas for thousands of years in order for them to survive, and hey, who am I to argue with nature?

I found this blog to be extremely insightful.

My Little One

How is it humanly possible to love a little person so much? While nursing my little guy down for a nap, I look down and see his sweet little face asleep, and his tiny little hand holding on for dear life to one of my fingers...my heart melts.